Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man

Oh man, it was nice to just do a stupid beer post a couple days ago.  I have stuff on my mind.

Baby C has definitely learned to crawl, and he is verrrrrry interested in the vertical aspects of his surroundings.  Baby H was not like this at all — my parenting life has gone to a new involvement level.  Baby C has also cut three more teeth in the last 48 hours, so that’s been a lot of worry for a little guy.  Still, that’s all regular stuff as far as human development.

I spent much of Monday at the ER with H.  Fortunately, that’s the extent of the bad news.  The good news is that, even though H’s heart beat is kind of irregular, that’s, well, regular for him.   That was on my mind heavily Monday, but it’s off now — whew.

Due to the ER thing, we canceled all but one of the house visits we had planned in the ongoing soul-crushing exercise of finding a house.  We did make it to that one house, though, irregular-heart-child and all.

I am sort of meh about this latest house.  Its best descriptor is adequate.  It is in a nice enough but boring neighborhood.  It is advantageous in  size, price, and condition. It needs some work, but nothing too dire.  The non-meh aspect of it is that it is the first house we’ve seen that fits this  adequacy description at all.  I guess we can paint it and I can plant a bunch of stuff in the yard (after some chainsaw usage out there) and I’ll feel more enthusiastic.

I guess we’d put an offer on it, except.

While I was at the ER, Brad got a surprise phone interview from a place to which he applied a while back, long enough back that he thought the position was filled and there was nothing more to think about.  But no, it’s not filled.  And it’s not in The Place Where We Live.  Oh no, it’s entirely across the country.  In A Place Where I’d Love to Try Living.  Specifically, it’s in a hamlet (I checked.  Wikipedia calls this place a hamlet and you know Wikipedia cannot be wrong) and it’s IN ADIRONDACKS STATE PARK.    I’m not angry, I’m just being really, really emphatic.  It’s IN THE PARK.  IN IT.  IN.  INSIDE.

I would so like to move (somewhere!  anywhere! please?!), but being in the stay-at-home, work-from-home parenting mode, as well as the slowly-slog-on-to-finish-grad-school mode, I’m not exactly in a position right now to fling my resume out far and wide and make it happen.  Brad is more in that position.  So it was flung far, all the way to NY, and NY answered.  Apparently, lots of people don’t find it appealing to live in a hamlet in a big rural park.  Those people are idiots.  OK, maybe they’re just different from me, but seriously y’all.  If anyone thinks I wouldn’t like to live in a huge, rugged, bear-infested, hamleted, forested, not-so-arid, park … well.  Maybe you haven’t talked to me recently.

I have exactly no control of this situation.  Brad has only very slightly more.  I have no doubt that he’d be grand in the position, but what I think doesn’t much matter to the committee, and it’s a long shot to convince someone over the phone of anything.  I’m not saying it’s too long to take the shot, but oh man.

Regardless of the outcome of the NY thing, the situation raises a new issue — can any place that’s not, you know, IN A HUGE AWESOME PARK now seem really adequate?   The sense of perspective I should have has been killed — that momentous feeling I should have about plunking down a whole bunch of money that’s been carefully saved for a long time for the express purpose of buying a house.  I could do the plunking, I guess, but I’m just not that interested in what I’m getting in exchange right now.

My head, no my whole self, hurts from the intensity of this situation.  Everything is waiting and I’m trying not to think too much about it.

I’m failing, obviously.


About sayingthings

K lives in the US with her man and kiddos, knits, cans, dehydrates, bakes bread, (but doesn't cook regular food, particularly), crochets, spins, gardens, studies for a degree that never seems to end, and um, works. Sometimes she wastes time online. Also -- and family, she's looking at you here -- sometimes she swears and says things you might not agree with. But she still loves you.

Posted on August 27, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Wow. Well, I hope things work out one way or another!

  2. NY is pretty far away.

  3. That is a big wow and the in.side.the.park thing is YOU! Hopefully you won’t be is suspense about the position for long and can then decide which direction you want to go. Putting down roots in a place you don’t want to be takes a real leap of faith.

  4. knittingunderwater

    Oh boy, I hate being in that type of situation, having to wait for an answer when you NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW. I’m crossing my fingers that things get sorted quickly, and hopefully in the way you want. Good luck!!

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